iris, 29
they/them · landscape architect
✦ Tap to see their story ↑
By us, for us · founding cohort: Oxford
Queer connection,
on our terms.
We've all been worn down by apps that were never really for us. Seloa's ours. Show up as yourself and breathe a bit.
✦
✦ It's a match. ✦
You and iris both said YES.
Why we made it (and what we won't do)
We believe that feeling safe and connecting aren't premium features. We refuse to hold queer people hostage to a financial model that was never built for us.
01
Ask first, every time
No one drops an image in your chat uninvited. Senders ask; you grant or decline — and a decline starts a cooldown, so they can't just keep asking. Not a setting you switch on. It's simply how the app works.
02
Not a numbers game
No infinite deck, no dopamine slot machine, no 'optimising your profile.' You came here to meet someone, not to farm likes — so every screen is built against the swipe spiral.
03
Safe because we've needed it
Identity data encrypted at rest. Screenshots blocked on iOS and Android. We know what it can cost to be outed, so privacy is the architecture — not a setting you have to dig for.
04
Be decent, rise
How you treat people decides where you sit. No public score, no callout — just a quiet system that keeps the room kind and the good-faith people easy to find.
05
Reply before you collect
Hold three open matches at a time; past that, the deck pauses until you write back. Hoarding likes was never the same thing as dating.
06
Every label, first-class
Trans, non-binary, ace, pan, demi, fluid, neurodivergent — your own words for yourself sit at the centre of how matching works, never buried three menus deep in 'settings.'
07
By us, for us — full stop
Built by queer people, not a diversity tab on a straight app. Every decision starts with one question: does this actually serve our community?
Wear your colours — or don't
Your profile, in your colours.
Pick a flag and it tints your profile — yours only, never the whole app. Trans, non-binary, bi, lesbian, ace, pan, or nothing at all. The app stays calm; you get to be loud. Your call, every time.
alex, 31
Trans
About
Makes field recordings of quiet places. Will absolutely tell you about microphones. Soft hands, loud opinions on reverb.
Your colours
alex
Optional. The app stays calm — these colours only ever touch your profile. Wear them loud or leave them off.
Trans
Non-binary
Bisexual
Lesbian
Pan
Asexual
None
What's said here, stays here
No screenshots. No outing. Yours.
Chats can't be captured, identity data is encrypted at rest, and your legal name is never shown to anyone. For a lot of us privacy was never a preference — so we made it the architecture, not a switch you have to find.
How we keep each other safe →blake✦
✓ Photo sharing enabled
Hiking mainly. I work in landscape design so it's basically professional research8:43 PM
That's such a good job justification. “I have to be outside, it's my career” 8:48 PM
Exactly. How did the music actually start for you?8:53 PM
Started on guitar as a kid, picked up piano later. Now I write things and rarely finish them9:03 PM
I want to hear one of the unfinished ones9:08 PM
Maybe when I've finished one I'll use it as leverage to share the bad ones first9:13 PM
Message…
FAQ
The things people ask first.
About Seloa
It carries a quiet phonetic echo of 'slower'. The whole app is built to slow you down — fewer profiles, real conversations, no race to the next swipe.
Waitlist & launch
Early members shape the app and become founding members — a permanent profile badge and no fee during beta.
Safety & privacy
The minimum to match you well. Identity data is encrypted at rest, your real name is never shown, and your data is yours to delete any time.
A note from the founder
Why I'm building Seloa.
I kept waiting for a dating app that was actually for us. It never came, so I'm making it. On my own, as part of this community, on these principles:
Connection over collection. Success is one conversation that matters, not a pile of matches.
Consent is the ground, not a setting. Nobody gets your attention, your images, or your time without asking.
Safety is a right, not an upsell. What protects you will never sit behind a premium tier.
Everyone gets to be specific. There's no 'other' here. Your identity is the starting point, not a footnote.
I answer to you, not investors. Built independently, by one of us, for us.
JeromeFounder, Seloa
✦ Founding member
You were here first.
The first people in keep a permanent founding badge and pay nothing through beta — for helping us build the app that should've existed years ago.
Join the waitlist